September 2010
6 posts
Bridesmaid Fun
Usually, brides bring their bridal party on an retreat to a spa or the beach before the wedding. I dreamt that my engaged friend took all of her bridesmaids to SixFlags. My brother (definitely not a bridesmaid), was there too. And my friend, the bride, was going on water rides in her wedding dress.
Matchmaker
I dreamt that I set up my friend’s mother with Mr. Shuster from Glee, even though she was married, and about 30 years older than him. Mr. Shuster, my close friend, asked for my advice on the outfit he was planning to wear— gray parachute pants, a gray button-down shirt, and gray crocks (all different shades of gray). Both parties were very nervous for the date. Unfortunately, I...
9/11 Memorial
I dreamt that some film producers wanted to make a movie documenting the events of September 11th from the point of view of the insects of New York City. I earned a supporting role as a flying purple and white bug. The protagonist was a larger purple kidney-bean shaped bug named “Silly.” Soon enough, I had literally become my character, and when we weren’t filming, I flew all...
Stretch
I dreamt that I was in pilates class, and the teacher showed us a stretch in which you pull one of your hands off and dangle it with the other hand for about thirty seconds. I kept trying to pull my hand out of my wrist socket, but found it very painful, and nearly impossible. Looking around, I saw that the other students in the class were succeeding, and further, finding it to be a great...
Bad Hair Day
I dreamt that I was going to a cool party, and my hair just wasn’t cooperating. I was very fed up, until I had a brilliant idea—to get a sheitl (the wigs that Orthodox married women wear). I went to the sheitl woman and bought a very expensive wig. At the party, everyone thought my hair was naturally smooth and in place. I looked awesome and received tons of compliments.
I've Always Wanted a Big Family
I dreamt that my friend offered me a room in her house for the summer. She explained that she had a very big, funny family, with a lot of extra bedrooms, and it would be fun for me. I took her up on the offer. Upon arrival, I learned that this family was insanely wealthy— and also insanely glamorous. My room was one of many giant closets in the mother’s bathroom. The mom looked a...
July 2010
4 posts
Bad Dog
I dreamt that I was on my way to a concert when I came across a GINORMOUS black dog in a dark alley. Every time I thought that I had gotten away, it found me. I ran for my life. An angel appeared and told me that I needed to be the one to save the rest of the world from this dog. So I let the creature gnaw on my hand with its ghastly fangs forever after… at least until I woke up.
WatchHynagogia-a go-go
The Art of Pilates
I dreamt that I took a free pilates class every Friday at 6:30 p.m. in the Renaissance paintings gallery at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE
I dreamt that I preferred vanilla ice cream to chocolate.
June 2010
2 posts
The Band
I dreamt that I was a member of a band comprised of some of my old friends and some of the kids from “Glee.” We started in a simple garage, but soon became wildly popular and somewhat famous. However, I had a deep, dark secret: I could neither play guitar nor sing— all along I had just been lip syncing and simulating strumming, occasionally plucking some chords by accident....
Anxiety Before Traveling as Manifested in Dreams
I dreamt that I had a ticket for a train leaving at noon. While getting a wax, I looked at my watch and found that it was already 1:15— I had missed my train. From the salon, I logically considered where to head next. Obviously, the Museum of Natural History seemed to be the most sensible solution. There, gangsters lurked in the shadows of the halls and galleries, and soon stole all of...
May 2010
5 posts
Behavior Test
I dreamt that I ran out of blank checks, so I went to the bank. The bank attendants explained that in order to assure that customers do not write checks relentlessly, they have a new policy of administering a behavior exam. Passing the exam allows the issuing of blank checks. I protested, arguing that I was very responsible and that this plan was wholly old fashioned because my wallet was full...
Skydive Fail
I dreamt that I was on a class field trip and everyone was required to participate in the main activity- skydiving. When it came to be my turn no one checked my harness or explained how or when to release my parachute. Still, I was forced to jump out of the plane. I took a random guess as to when to open my parachute, but it was late in the game. I crashed… but instead of breaking any...
Secret Sorority Assassin
I Dreamt that some blonde sorority girl was actually an assassin hired to kill me, and the FBI sent my friend as a special undercover agent to guard my life. We both carried guns, and mine was pink and green and glittery striped. My friend kept calling hers “cash cab,” and she also had full body armor made of invisible mithril. She were a general badass, but she failed and the sorority girl wound...
phone shmone
I dreamt that my mom told me that the warranty on my cell phone was expired and that I was due for an update. I put up a fight, demanding that my phone worked perfectly fine and I didn’t want to part with it. She said that it wasn’t a big deal, and that she already had a new phone for me. Soon, she revealed my new phone— a peeled orange with rainbow sprinkles on it. Two...
West Side Story?
I dreamt that I was one my way to a doctor’s appointment one night, when I came across a form of theatre that I had never seen before. During this performance of West Side Story, the actors gradually traveled along the highway, followed by the audience. However, the highway was not closed off. Rather, the actors and viewers dodged the cars, as the cars dodged the actors and viewers. This...
April 2010
5 posts
Surprise Party
Lately I’ve been watching a lot of “Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution.” For this reason, I dreamt that I was a very famous obesity and healthy eating expert. I planned an enormous surprise party for my friend, Carrie Bradshaw (yes, the fictional character) and invited all of my celebrity friends. The party was held in a giant circus tent that was an abandoned ice skating...
The Substitute
My old dance teacher knew that she had to miss a class, and asked if anyone could help her find a substitute. My Uncle Danny agreed to it, but this was not the Uncle Danny that I knew— it was a live version of the 1980s Uncle Danny that I have seen in pictures at my grandmother’s home— ponytail, sunglasses and all. It turns out that the teacher ended up being able to come to...
Five for Fighting or Bust
I dreamt I went to buy tickets for a Five for Fighting contest. The ticket office looked more like a travel agency, and there were only two other people in line before me. After the ticketer spent very long filling the others’ orders, I told him I wanted tickets to Five for Fighting, but he did not help me. Instead, he just left, and his replacement came in. I then asked the new employee for...
Occassional Accent
I dreamt that my mom, an all-American midwesterner, suddenly began speaking in broken English with a Chinese accent. Not to everyone, though— she continued speaking to me and the other people that she knows personally in her normal voice, but began spoking to all strangers (i.e. random people calling on the phone, waiters, people on the street) as if she were fresh off the boat and on the...
Elevator Madness
I dreamt I was in an elevator by myself. Since I was alone, I started singing my heart out. Later, I let out a huge fart. While I was farting, I turned to my side and noticed three girls standing in the elevator with me, clearly seeing my singing and farting. To break the tension, I nonchalantly asked, “That was me wasn’t it?” They nodded awkwardly and then exited the elevator....
March 2010
2 posts
Red Jell-o?
I dreamt that I was doing my grocery shopping in a gourmet cafeteria. The spread of prepared desserts proved supremely enticing. I filled up three shopping carts worth of items to take home, and my mom (whom I was with) told me that I could choose one dessert to eat right there in the store. Both the jell-o and chocolate pudding were at the top of my list, but after a long debate I fervently...
Cos and the Kids
I was in the sketchy home of the sketchy family who owns the sketchy pharmacy on my block. Apparently, I was their little girl’s babysitter. There was a music class for kids upstairs, but each child was required to have his/her own adult supervisor. For some reason, I refused to take her to the music class, but I finally gave in reluctantly. Suddenly, all of the other adults disappeared,...
February 2010
7 posts
Lizard Toes
I dreamt that I was a student in an elementary school classroom. Two class clowns released a jar full of hundreds of baby lizards (except that everyone kept calling the lizards “mice”). One of the lizards got stuck inside my big toe and another one ended up attached to my thumb. I screamed and cried because I couldn’t get them off. Finally, the one on my thumb came off after...
Dr. Johnny Dangerpants
I dreamt I was doing a science project where I had to construct and fly my own small aircraft. My science partner was Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. I got on our plane, and started to fly, but quickly lost control. Mr. Darcy was screaming at me to pull a lever that didn’t exist, and I was certain that I would crash. Finally, I was saved in the sky by Dr. Johnny Dangerpants—a man I...
The Psychedelic Fried Food Truck
I saw an ad for a food truck that offered a very large basket of many of my favorite foods for just $4.99. I was bound to find this truck, so I rode the 1 train up to 257th street (a stop that doesn’t actually exist). After wandering around for a while, I finally saw it— a giant tie-dyed vehicle of perfection. Upon entering, I discovered that this wasn’t your average food...
The Office: Season 7
I was on a cross country bus tour with all of the characters of “The Office.” They all decided to sit on the left side of the bus only and make Angela sit alone on the right side, so that the bus would tip over and she would get extremely nervous. I rode with her to make her feel better, but was terrified myself. We arrived at our destination, which was a brand new office— the...
Perfect Tip
I dreamt I went to lunch with a friend. When the bill came, I was pleased that lunch cost $33.00 for the two of us, because with a 20% tip, it was almost exactly $40, so we each only had to pay $20. I looked in my wallet and found that I only had fifties, so went to a nearby hair salon/REALLY nice cafè to get change. When I gave the clerk my fifty, he started giving me the strangest combination of...
Barney the Dying-saur
I dreamt that I was on a hike when I came upon someone dressed as Barney the dinosaur. He was covered in dirt, lying amongst the jagged rocks, near death. I went down and rescued Barney, only to discover that the person dressed as barney was in fact Katie Couric. Once she recovered, Katie did a stunning expose about her ordeal on the evening news, for which she won a pulitzer. Then i woke up.
I'm Not Sure
I dreamt that my best friend turned into a sausage. And then it ate me.
January 2010
11 posts
Florida Gator
I decided that I wanted to visit my friends at the University of Florida, but I was pretty apprehensive about the long drive. My mother pestered me about bringing my younger brother along, but I really didn’t want him to join. Suddenly, I found myself in a Gainesville apartment. A few of my friends were in there and talking about me, but they couldn’t see that I was there— I...
Missing Martin Scorcese
I dreamt I went to a wedding, and at the reception i was placed at a table with Martin Scorcese! I was so excited to see him, and we actually hit it off really well. After the wedding, I told my mom about how nice Marty was and how he offered me a job on one of his movies! My mom said, “That’s great. Did you get his contact info?” When I realized that I hadn’t, I ran...
Lumberjack Artists Etc.
I was living in an artists’ commune, on some Italian island, apprenticed to a master craftsman. He was a large, hirsute, lumberjack type who made enormous wooden works. When a competing craftsman set up shop in his territory, I pushed him to make a stand. He went over there threatening to fight.He picked up one of the guy’s works and, while trying to snap it in half, broke his leg and fell over. I...
Typical Courtyard Return
For the sake of the dream, one of my sister’s best friends had died recently. While sitting with everyone at home reminiscing about her, my mother ran into the room and announced that she was back, that she “Has a ghost!” At first I confused the excitement for fear and tried to comfort everyone with the fact that ghosts do not exist, but no-one seemed to care; they were completely unfazed by the...
Rex
I’m in class when my teacher says that we all need to make a website for a project. After contemplating for a while what my website would be, Michael Cera tells me not to worry about it and asks me to take a walk with him. We walk into a indoor playground and all of a sudden a mini-Michael with disproportionately small arms pops out and I scream. Michael is then insulted and says,...
Party Bus
I dreamt that I was at an extravagant party hosted by Blair Waldorf on a party bus. Blair sat up at the front of the bus with a microphone and served as both the DJ and the tour guide. The party bus worked like a cruise in that it made stops along the way for people to sight-see. But when the party got off the bus, a European tour group took it over for a few hours. I got held back at one stop...
Clooney in a Speedo
I needed a blanket so I went into a classroom in search of one. There, a first grade class was performing a song in full costume, utilizing a big comfy blanket as a prop (i.e. they were making “waves with it). I watched the show in its entirety and was genuinely amused. When it was all over I asked the teacher if I could please have the blanket. A very young, muscular, neon green George...
They DO Exist
I deamt that my sister and I were sleeping in my room and, all of a sudden, the m&m guys from those commercials starting coming out of the tv! They started filling my room with potted plants and throwing branches everywhere. Then it got really weird, because it turned out that it was my friends dressed as green m&ms, which was totally normal. The only reason I figured out it was them was...
Where the Sidewalk Ends
I dreamt that the homeowner’s association of my planned gated community had folded. Because of this event, people were free to do whatever they wanted to the appearance of their houses. Some people converted their houses to little, old houses reminiscent of those in the opening of “All in the Family”, while others joined several houses together to make frankenstein-esque...
Kitchen Confidential
I dreamt that I was a young student who was asked to write an investigative feature about my school for the school newspaper. The paper offered to put me up for a few days while I gathered my research. (It was essentially the plot of “Almost Famous”.) To my dismay, the “hotel” that I stayed in was actually the kitchen of one of the school’s dining halls. I was unable...
December 2009
15 posts
Top 20
I made the top 20 of So You Think You Can Dance. We had tons of promotional stunts along with rehearsals and working out. I was also still in school, so I was completely exhausted. We were in an art museum and I got separated from the rest of the group, ending up in a room of third graders on a field trip. An old lady curator announced that the women’s bathroom was broken, so everyone...
Where the Full House Cast Are
I dreamed I was surfing in a sea of packing peanuts. I came upon a island of people with long finger nails. Among the tribe was the cast of Full House and Uncle Jessie was singing Kokomo. I ran into my old high-school sweetheart who was dating Danny Tanner. In a jealous rage, I punched him in the face. The tribe rushed me and tied me to the pine trees, and then they formed a human totem pole...
Meat Jell-O at Midnight
I dreamt that I went down to my kitchen for a midnight snack. The only things in our refrigerator were a five pound braised brisket and a fairly large cherry Jell-O mold. After some contemplation of what I should eat first, I decided to purée them together in a blender. I drank it like a milkshake and woke up with a stomach ache.
Pat Sajak Battles the Robot Mokeys
I dreamt that I was having dinner in a fancy restaurant with Pat Sajak, only it wasn’t Pat Sajak, it was my father. The waiter walked over with a note saying, “Turn around”. Behind me, I saw a legion of robot monkeys with the faces of my mother for hands. Pat Sajak jumped over my head and started shooting at the robot monkeys. He yelled at me to go find a safe place to hide. In...
Tarzan the Dancer
I dreamt that for my final dance project I was given a complex motif to interpret and perform. Because I was having a hard time doing the assignment, I decided to hire a tutor— the greatest dancer in the world….TARZAN! He glanced at the motif and immediately danced the dance on the Columbia steps, loin cloth and all. Oh, but Tarzan was blind, so I’m not sure how he read the...
Mall
I was at a party and a friend’s mom comes to pick a group of us up. We obediently crawl into the minivan and patiently wait for the mother to finish chanting proverbs with a nearby oak tree. When we finally get on the road, she decides to fly out the window, forcing the girl in the passenger seat to turn into a maniac and drive us to a mall. We encounter many adventures including flying to...
Hillary Clinton
I dreamt that I was in congress, and Hillary Clinton was giving a speech. I get a closer look, I pulled out my telescope, but saw something more interesting. By looking so close at Hillary Clinton’s face, I noticed that all of her pores looked exactly like tiny little Hillary Clintons. I pulled out my microscope and saw that the even the atoms she was made of look like Hillary Clinton. When...
Manicure?
I dreamt that I went into a nail salon and couldn’t decide if I wanted to get a manicure or not. When the manicurists weren’t looking, I put some hot pink nail polish in my eyes because, in my dreamworld, that was apparently where you get a manicure. But as the day progressed, my eyes were getting very uncomfortable. My friend said that the manicure was probably bothering me because...
